How do I put together a college list?

This is a talk I gave to a group of parents last night. Thank you so much, Kinder HSPVA PTO, for hosting me!

You know you’ve got to apply to college, and you know that you’ll probably be applying to more than one. (In 2024-25 the national average was almost seven applications per student.) So how does a high school student decide which schools are best for them?

Let’s start with some numbers: there are around 1,500 accredited, public or non-profit, bachelor degree-conferring colleges in the U.S. So you have 1,500 “good” colleges to begin with, not counting community colleges, trade schools, and international universities. To not completely overwhelm yourself and have time to make informed decisions, you have to get your list down to about 20-40 colleges. You’ll probably apply to 4-20. You’ll attend one…or at least one at a time.

How do I narrow it down to 20-40?

First, you have to know what it is you’re looking for. “Good college,” “great college,” and “the best college I can get into” are not useful search terms. Spend time working on a college mission statement that is honest, specific, and realistic. Begin with this template: “I want to _____ at a _____ school with _____.” Here are some examples.

I want to study art at a liberal arts college—not an art school—with access to local art institutions outside of the college.

I want to explore people’s motivations and patterns of behavior, probably through a psychology or sociology degree, at an urban university with opportunities for community engagement.

I want to major in mechanical engineering at a big comprehensive university with a strong sense of school spirit and strong alumni network.

I want to get a math degree in an urban area at a school with strong autism support and gender-neutral housing available.

The main things I think about when recommending schools for students are major, geography, school size, school culture, and plans beyond college. So it helps to know what you want to study, where you’d like to live, how big or small a school you’re looking for, what you want your school community to feel like, and what you want to do after college.

While it certainly helps to know those things, it’s fine if you haven’t got all those questions answered. You’ll get a better sense of what’s right for you as you look at more colleges and get a feel for things. “I don’t know” is often a really useful statement in terms of major or other preferences. Being honest about “I don’t know” is much better than making something up to sound sure of yourself. However, if your answer to all the questions is “I don’t know,” then you’re going to have a hard time narrowing things down. Pick one criterion you’re pretty sure about—it’s often geography—and begin there.

If you’re really unsure how to begin, then start by looking at some profiles of schools you’ve heard of, even if you have no desire to go there. Make sure you look at a variety of college types: large public universities, small liberal arts colleges, and mid-sized public and private universities. Simply begin to look around and get a feel for what appeals to you, and then you can start searching for more schools like that. I’ve written about this before as a “mixed case.”

If you really want to make this effective, get someone to show you school profiles without the name of the school or other identifying information. Take away reputation and brand recognition and pay attention to what stands out in positive and negative ways.

Some great resources for researching colleges: The Fiske Guide, BigFuture, Princeton Review, Common Data Sets, and ChatGPT or other AI apps. I think you should avoid Reddit until you’re getting to the point of making decisions, not early basic research.

College ranking sites can be quite useful, if used properly. Make sure you look at multiple ranking sites, not just one, and look for schools they all seem to agree on. When possible, understand what criteria the ranking sites use, because that may or not match what you would use to rank colleges. And definitely don’t get caught up in the order—there’s nothing inherently better about the number 15 school over the number 35 school.

When you’re compiling your list of 20-40, make sure you check your acceptance rate diversity: make sure you have at least two schools that are a good match that you are quite confident will accept you. Look for these schools first, not as an afterthought. They’re not “safeties,” schools you apply to because you think they’ll accept you even though you don’t want to go. They’re good-match schools that you are also confident will accept you.

How can you be confident that a college will accept you? That also takes some honest self-knowledge. As a consultant, I mostly work with students who have very high GPAs (about half are in the top quarter of their graduating class, and almost all of them are in the top half). They’ve taken multiple AP classes or IB classes, and they’re involved in interesting things outside of class. So for them, we usually focus on colleges with acceptance rates of 50% or higher to be confident of acceptance—and even that’s obviously not guaranteed. For other students we adjust that up: solid students without as many upper-level courses will look at acceptance rates of 70% or higher. If you’ve had major setbacks that resulted in failing grades, taking a minimum schedule, or taking time off from school, we may bump the threshold up to 90%. I never try to guess what schools are a “safety, target, and reach” for any individual student. I simply figure out if we’re looking at a 50%, 70%, or 90% acceptance rate threshold to determine where I’m confident they’ll be accepted.

But if you’re confident you’ll be accepted, why have two of those colleges? Isn’t one enough? I encourgage everyone to apply to at least two schools where they’re confident they’ll be accepted because sometimes—rarely, but sometimes—a school may still deny a student. So it helps to have another. But mostly I want every applicant to have more than one choice. Even if it’s a rough application season and you’re only accepted to those two colleges, you’re still making a choice. You feel like you have agency and power. That’s really important. And let’s also take a moment to stop and recognize that schools with high acceptance rates aren’t less than or worse than schools with lower acceptance rates. There’s no correlation between acceptance rate and quality. Many students with stellar applications still mostly apply to colleges with high acceptance rates simply because the sort of schools they’re looking for tend to have higher acceptance rates.

No more than 25% of your list should be schools with an acceptance rate under 20%—so 10 at most. Once a college has an acceptance rate under that threshold, absolutely no one can be confident they’ll be accepted. These schools get many more qualified applicants than they can accept, so they will deny admission to even highly qualified people. I never discourage anyone from applying to these schools—I won’t tell anyone not to bother because they won’t get in. But I tell everyone not to make these schools too big a part of their list or to spend most of their energy on these schools, because they probably won’t get in.

Once you have a list of potential colleges narrowed down to 20-40, you can…keep updating it. Spend more time researching schools, spending time on their websites, using their virtual tour options, maybe going on in-person tours, and looking for other schools that may match your criteria. You can begin this process as soon as 9th grade, and it keeps going until you actually apply in 12th grade. But be careful, don’t let that list get over 40. You have to make some choices about where you won’t be applying; don’t just keep adding schools to the list!

How do I decide which 4-20 to apply?

When it’s time to start applying, keep that acceptance diversity in mind. Make sure you apply to at least two school’s you’re confident will accept you. Those schools should have acceptance rates of at least 50%, and possibly higher. Don’t be afraid to apply to schools with really low acceptance rates if they’re a good fit. Beyond those guidelines, acceptance rate really shouldn’t be a factor in where you apply.

When it’s time to narrow down your list to actual applications, you also need to consider cost diversity. You need to talk to your family about money and understand what your budget is. Then, pay attention to likely costs of colleges. You never know what a college will cost you until you apply, are accepted, and get a financial aid offer. But you can get good estimates by looking at average net prices. Like with selectivity, don’t be afraid to aim high in case the aid works out, but also make sure you’re applying to places that are feasible in case the aid doesn’t work out.

You should also be interacting with the schools on your list to help you narrow it down. Sign up for their mailing list, spend time reading their website, follow them on social media, go on virtual and/or in-person tours. You’re thinking about beginning a multi-year relationship with these places, so get to know them to understand where you might have the strongest relationships.

Consider the complexity of your applications in total. Do all your schools use the Common Application, and do they add a lot of supplemental questions? Will you also be using a completely different application, like the application for University of California schools? Will you be submitting any portfolios or videos? How many recommendation letters do they ask for? Not every application takes the same amount of time and energy, so get a sense of what you’re being asked to do.

It usually costs money to apply to college, around $50 per school on average. So make sure you have a budget for that. Applying to four more schools just to see what happens sounds good; spending $200 just to see what happens sounds less good. 

How do I decide which college I’ll attend?

It usually comes down to two factors: price and “vibe.” If you’re looking at two comparable schools and one is significantly less expensive to attend, you should absolutely go with the less expensive one. Beyond that, this is the part where I actually encourage people to go with gut and intuition, even if they can’t explain it. The more rational and strategic you’ve been in deciding where to apply, the more secure you can feel making a choice based on emotion and feeling. You’re going to be fine.

If you’re having trouble picking, practice explaining your choice: “I’m going to _____. I almost went to _____, but _____.” Make this statement for each of the colleges you’re considering. For example, if you’re choosing between Texas Tech and the University of Arizona, practice saying—aloud, to other people—”I’m going to Texas Tech. I almost went to Arizona, but I couldn’t justify the extra cost I’d be paying” and “I’m going to the the University of Arizona. I almost went to Texas Tech, but I really waned to live someplace more urban.” See which of those statements ultimately has more appeal for you.

There’s a Buddhist saying: “The pain is inevitable, the suffering is a choice.” I would say the same about college admission. It’s stressful and tedious and difficult. But it doesn’t have to be miserable. With planning and optimism, it’s also really fun and exciting.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   How do I write a college mission statement?

   How do I talk to my family about money?

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

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How do I research colleges?

We say it all the time. Parents say it, teachers say it, counselors say it a lot: go research colleges. We know that choosing one out of thousands of American community colleges, liberal arts colleges, universities, art schools, research institutions, and technical colleges takes research on the part of the applicants. But what exactly do we mean when we say research? And how do you do it? Let me try to explain.

First: What are you even looking for? When you’re researching, you’re looking at three categories that often overlap, what I call fit, numbers, and vibe. Fit is a good place to start.

Fit is a word we use a lot in college admission, usually in a vague way about finding the schools that are best for you. I’m using fit here to mean the things that are important to you in choosing a college, are not as precise as a statistic you can look up, but are more easily managed than the general feeling you get from a school. Here’s what to consider when thinking about fit:

You should probably think about the size of college you’d like. While many students have no preference, most at least think they might do better at a small, medium, or large school—even if they don’t know what counts as small, medium, and large. The more interactions you have with colleges of different sizes, the more you’ll get a feel for what size is right for you.

Look at a college’s listing of the majors they offer. Look through the list on their website. This is really important. For one, if you just search “does ____ have a ____ major?” then you might find that the answer is no…but that they really do and just call it something different. Also, looking at lists of majors may introduce you to fields you hadn’t considered before or hadn’t even heard of. And, the list of majors gives you an idea about the depth of a certain department. For example, there are colleges with one or two engineering degrees. And there are schools with 12 or more engineering degrees.

Look at the college’s social and religious affiliations and try to understand how they shape the school culture. A religious name and sponsorship doesn’t necessarily mean that the college has an overtly religious agenda or creed. But you may want to look into it. The religious affiliation with the school may or may not have some effect on the student population. For example, Notre Dame is a Catholic university, and around 80% of its students identify as Catholic. Loyola University of New Orleans, also a Catholic university, is less than 40% Catholic.

See what sports and other major activities the college offers, even if you don’t plan on playing sports. Look up their Greek Life (sororities and fraternities) culture and see how many students are involved.

Think about how close to home the college is and how easy it is to get there. If it’s driving distance, how long will it take you to get there—especially if you don’t have a car? If it’s farther away and you’ll be flying, is it a non-stop flight from your local airport? And once you land, how far of a drive is it? Get a feel for how easy it is to get to and from school, not just the distance in miles.

Consider weather and climate of the area. How comfortable are you with cold? With heat? With rain and cloudiness? Those things matter.

How important is campus safety to you? That definitely matters. Overall safety is difficult to measure and compare, but you should look into it.

So fit includes the general things you’re looking for. It’s what goes into a college mission statement. When you know what you’re looking for, you can start looking up hard numbers to see how well schools fit what you want.

What numbers to look at:

Definitely look the size of the school, measured in the number of undergraduate students. Think of around 3,000 undergrads and fewer as small, 15,000 or more as large, and everything else as medium. Those are just generalizations, but a nice starting place.

Look at the retention rate of the school, which is the percentage of first-year students who come back for their second year. Look at the graduation rate, which is the percent of students who are able to graduate with a degree within six years of starting. (The national median graduation rate is in the mid-60s range.)

Look at the school’s acceptance rate, which can be as low as 4% or as high as 100%. Around 75% of colleges have an acceptance rate of 50% or higher. Look at the gap between acceptance rate and graduation rate. A school with an acceptance rate of 25% and a gradation rate of 85% is choosing top candidates and moving them on to graduation. A school with a graduation rate of 85% that accepts 50% of applicants is choosing far more candidates…but still moving them on. That’s a good sign.

Look at their financial aid numbers, especially the percent of need met, the average net price, and the average debt at graduation. You never know what an individual college will cost you until you apply, are accepted, and are given a financial aid offer. But you can start to get a sense and to compare schools by looking at these averages.

Fit considerations are based on the numbers you look up, but they also encompass things beyond stats. Vibe—or general feeling or culture—is even more vague. But it’s often just as important.

The best way to get a sense of the vibe of a school is to visit it while students are there. But that’s not the only way, so don’t feel like you can’t get to know a school’s general atmosphere without being there.

You can look at a college’s rankings (like on Niche, for example) for non-academic categories: student life, dorms, food, campus, and party-school reputation. Spend time looking at the photos and videos on a college’s website and see how well they match your expectants of college (but warning: they can all look alike at first). Take advantage of any virtual tours that are available online. Spend time wandering around the college’s website. Email the admission department and ask them if they can set you up with a current student who can answer your questions about the school’s culture and vibe.

Those are the three things you’re researching. Here’s something really important: the research process is circular. You look at the numbers to find colleges that match your preferences for fit, and then you check out their vibe. But after you learn more about the possibilites, you may decide you want to change your preferences for fit…which will have you looking for different numbers…and finding new places to check for vibe…which may have you reconsidering fit….

Looking at a few colleges will give you a better sense of what you want, which will help you find some more schools to look at. I wouldn’t recommend choosing your college solely on a vague sense of vibe, nor would I recommend choosing one solely on numbers in a spreadsheet.

What is your ultimate goal? What you want is a balanced list of colleges you’re going to apply to. It should be four to 20 schools. When I say balanced, I mean balanced in terms of acceptance rates, fit, and finances. Find at least two colleges that meet your general fit requirements and where you’re also very confident you’ll be accepted and can afford. (These are often public universities close to home). Once you have those settled, start looking at schools that also match your fit, maybe even better, but that you’re less confident about admission success. Understand that once a college’s acceptance rate gets below around 25%, absolutely nobody can feel confident about being accepted no matter how strong their application. Don’t be afraid to apply to these schools, but don’t make them your top priority.

Don’t be in a rush, and be open to change. I like the list to be around 20-30 by end of junior year, and then reduced to 4-12 by application time.

Where do you look?

Let’s start with the easy. A quick Google search is an obvious—and not bad—place to start. Your search will probably include the word “best.” Best colleges to study sports management. Best colleges in Ohio. Best value colleges. These types of searches are fine places to begin to get a feeling for what’s out there. You don’t want to stop there, but it’s a good start. Just don’t get too caught up in the rankings themselves. Number 14 is probably not significantly different than number 4. For many categories, I try to think as the top 100 as tied for first place.

There are several online sources for solid college profiles. I tend to use BigFuture, which is published by the College Board, and Niche the most.

Online you can also use Princeton Review, US News, MONEY, and Wall Street Journal. These may require you to set up an account or to pay for some features.

My absolute favorite guide, and the favorite of most the admission professionals I know, is the Fiske Guide. It’s not online; you’ll need to find the book. It’s worth the money and effort.

You can also find all sorts of great information on individual colleges’ websites, their social media accounts, and the information they send you once you sign up for their mailing list, which you should do if you’re interested in a school.

There’s also online forums like Reddit, which I frankly almost never use. If you do, just remember not to put too much weight into any single person’s opinion.

One of the best places to get numbers about a college is from the college’s Common Data Set.

And, of course, don’t forget about your school counselor—if you have one—and the counseling office.

The three most common factors I get from students searching for colleges are major, size, and geographic region. If you already have a preference in these three categories, then the initial search can be pretty simple. If your major is rare or niche, then that’s going to limit things. If it’s something really common that most colleges offer, like Biology or Political Science, then that’s going to make the initial list longer. Same with how narrow or broad your geographic preferences are. If that initial list is longer than 35 schools (and it probably will be), then start doing some narrowing down.

This is when you have to start thinking about balance. Don’t have more than 5-7 schools with acceptance rates under 25%. Make sure you have at least two with acceptance rates over 70%. Look at their locations within your geographic area and think about which ones are most appealing. Look at average net prices and make sure most of your list is in a range that feels comfortable for your family. Consult some “best of” lists or rankings to see which ones have better reputations. Get that list down to 35 maximum. Then, it’s time to start doing deeper dives by looking at their numbers and checking on their vibe. Go through the circular process of fit, numbers, and vibe. Don’t be afraid to make changes, but understand that by application time, you’ve got to get that list down to 20 maximum, and preferably more like 12.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Using your college mission statement

   It’s not the choice you make, it’s how you explain it

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

How to get letters of recommendation from teachers and counselors

I’m re-publishing my how-to on asking for recommendations with some updates and changes. None of my advice has changed, and the procedure hasn’t changed. But I decided to put more emphasis on the fact that each college is a little different in their requirements, each high school is a little different in their procedures, and each teacher is a little different in their preferences. There is absolutely no one-size-fits-all advice for rec letters. They require some planning and trial-and-error. It’s ideal that you’re thinking about this your junior year, but you can quickly catch up if you start your senior year. Please leave any questions or advice in the comments.

Understand what you’re asking for. Have you ever seen a letter of recommendation? Have you ever written one? Do you really understand what you’re asking for? Probably not, and that’s fine. Take some time to get familiar with the type of letter you’re asking for. Look at these examples with comments. You’ll have a better idea of who to ask, when to ask, and how to ask if you have a better appreciation for what all goes into a good recommendation.

Outline what you hope they’ll say. Why are you asking this person for a letter? What does this person have to say about you that’s different than what anyone else would? What specific actions did this person witness that you hope they’ll be able to talk about? You can’t dictate what a teacher will say, but you can let them know what you’re hoping for.

Make sure you ask someone who can help you. Like the essays and interviews, recommendation letters are one of your opportunities to show colleges that you’re an interesting person, not just a transcript. So make sure you ask for recommendation letters from teachers who know you as a person. Some colleges specify which teachers they want letters from, and there’s nothing you can do about that. But when you have control, get teachers who will say great things about you. If a teacher is likely to just repeat what’s already in your transcript, then you’ve lost a big opportunity. If a teacher is writing letters for a lot of other students, then that teacher may not be able to write a unique and personal letter for you. A teacher you’ve had good rapport with and who knows you as a person is going to be better for you than a teacher who doesn’t know you as well but gave you higher grades. There’s lots of advice out there about which teachers are better for rec letters: a junior teacher is better than a 9th grade teacher; get a STEM teacher and a humanities teacher; a teacher who had you for two classes is better than a teacher who only had you for one. This advice isn’t bad, but remember the deeper advice underlying all of it: ask for rec letters from someone who is going to be able to write a good letter for you. If you have some intuition here telling you who to ask, follow that intution over formulas.

Understand that it’s a personal favor. Teachers are not required to write recommendation letters, so treat it as the personal favor it is. When I was a teacher, I liked it when students set up an appointment with me to come and talk to me about rec letters. I preferred to know why they were coming so I could prepare questions or suggestions. I loved it when a student sent me an email asking to come by later and ask for a rec letter. However, I also worked with teachers who didn’t care for this approach. They don’t want to have the same conversation over and over again with a bunch of students. They would just want a student to come up and ask. Or they even had a sign-up list. So there’s no one best approach. You have to be attentive to teachers’ preferences and expectations. Whenever you’re in doubt, ask. “I’d like to ask you to write a recommendation for me. What should be my first step? Is there anything you’d like from me?”

But whatever you do, ask for the letter politely and with lots of time to spare. Don’t rush the teacher or treat it like a foregone conclusion that they’ll write you one. And never corner a teacher while they’re trying to get someplace else.

Give them some direction. Hopefully you’ve given a lot of thought to what personal traits you want to discuss in your application essays. Let the teachers who you’re asking for recommendations know what those traits are. If there’s a particular story or example you’re hoping they’ll write about, let them know. Remember, you should have outlined this before asking. Teachers may or may not follow up on that, but it can’t hurt to ask. Which do you think will get a better rec letter:

·      “Mr. Holloway, can you write me a letter of recommendation?”

Or

·      “Mr. Holloway, I’m putting together my college applications, and I’m really trying to emphasize my creative problem solving. Would it be possible for you to write me a letter of recommendation? I was remembering the time in class when the computer crashed in the middle of my Power Point presentation and I still found a way to get the information across without it. What should be my first step? Is there anything you’d like from me?”

Unless the teacher asks for it, I don’t think you should give them a copy of your transcript, résumé, or “brag sheet.” It makes it too easy for the teacher to just repeat things that are already on your transcript or activities list. Instead, offer to send the teacher any information or reminders they need. But definitely have something ready in case they ask for it, or be ready to write one really quickly.

Convey the actual deadline for the letter. If you’re applying for Early Action, Early Decision, or any other early deadline, let them know. If it’s a Regular Decision application due in early January, let them know. If it’s rolling admissions, and the sooner you get all the materials in the sooner you get a decision, let them know. If it’s a Regular Decision application due in early January, but you want to have all your applications out early for your peace of mind, that’s fine—but the teacher’s deadline is still early January. Don’t try to push them into arbitrary or confusing deadlines that aren’t realistic.

If they say no, don’t be pushy. This should go without saying. There are a number of reasons a teacher might say no when you ask for a recommendation. Don’t assume you know what the reason is, and don’t be pushy. Someone who can’t or doesn’t want to write a letter isn’t going to write a good one. If the teacher who says no is one who a college requires a letter from, let that teacher know and see if there’s something you can work out. But do this as a follow-up, not in the same conversation where the teacher initially says no.

Say thank you. A recommendation letter is a personal favor, so make sure you thank the teacher profusely. Thank the teacher when they agree to write the letter. Say thank you again—in writing—when the teacher sends the letter. When you get accepted to any school that the teacher recommended you for, say thank you again. A thank-you gift is not required, but is a nice gesture (home-baked cookie were always my favorite gift). But don’t give a thank-you gift until after the letter has been sent—you don’t want it to look like a bribe. 

How many rec letters will you need? And from who? This is tough to answer, because each college has its own requirements. As you’re looking at colleges you may want to apply to, look through their admission requirements to be sure of what you need. Some colleges don’t require any recommendations. It’s very common for a college to want one from your school counselor and one from a teacher. Some require two teacher recommendations, and some specify that one be from a STEM teacher and one from a humanities teacher. Most will take letters from community members other than teachers and counselors.

I think it’s best to plan on getting recommendations from your counselor and two teachers until you know for sure you don’t need that many. You should obviously send all the recommendations a school requires. But I don’t think you should send more than a single extra recommendation, even if they allow for more. Sending too many recommendations quickly becomes a problem—it makes you seem more annoying and desperate than accomplished and interesting. Also avoid having someone impressive send a recommendation if they don’t actually know you. A bland, generic letter from a business executive, elected official, or famous person doesn’t actually help you.

When should you ask for rec letters? This is also tough to answer, because each teacher has their own preferences. There are teachers who, if approached in the spring of 11th grade, will tell you it’s way too early to deal with that. There are teachers who, if approached in the fall of 12th grade, will tell you it’s too late and they can’t take on any more. Some teachers would love to discuss it during the summer when the pace is slower, but some will absolutely resent you for bothering them in the summer. Again, follow your intuition about what an individual teacher will want. My best advice is to bring it up before the end of the school your junior year, but bring it up casually. Ask your teachers what they prefer, and then follow up when appropriate. Sending an email the few weeks before the beginning of school is fine, but don’t send anything the first two weeks of school unless you absolutely know the teacher wants you to. Those first few weeks of school are busy and overwhelming for a lot of teachers.

What do you do if a college asks for something you can’t provide? There are times when a college may ask for a recommendation that you’re simply unable to provide. Example: your school counselor left the school and hasn’t been replaced. Whenever there’s any kind of problem or question, reach out to your admission representative at the college. Most colleges still divide their admission staff by geography, and most will let you look up who the admission counselor for your region is. If you can find that on their admission web page, perfect. If not, find any contact info you can for the admissions office and reach out with your question. The sooner you do this, the better. Don’t wait until right before the deadline to let them know you may not be able to get exactly what they’re asking for. Consider mid-September to be your deadline for this (unless, of course, you decide to apply to a school after that).

How does the teacher get the recommendation to the college? Teachers and counselors will not give the recommendation to you. When you’re completing the Common Application, there is a section where you indicate who you would like to get recommendations from. You’ll give the names and official school email addresses. (You absolutely must talk to the teacher before submitting their names and email!) The Common App takes it from there. It will send the teachers a link to answer a few questions and upload a rec letter. If you’re applying to a college in a form other than the Common Application, make sure you look up if they want recommendations and how to have them sent. Underatand that you will probably never see the letters teachers write for you. That’s the way it works.

I’m sure there are many exceptions to my normal advice for rec letters, but here are two big ones. If you’re applying to a US service academy, then you will be required to get a recommendation from your member of Congress. Representatives typically have a form on their web site with instructions. If you’re applying to any of these, ignore what I said about getting recommendations from impressive people you don’t necessarily know. Also, home schooled students will often have a completely different set of requirements, since recommendations can be awkward if your teachers and counselors are also your parents. Most colleges have a separate checklist easy to find on their admission web pages.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Do you need a “brag sheet?”

   Making a high school resume

   On swastikas and rec letters

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elsiabeth

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

How do you ask for a letter of recommendation?

Current juniors are probably aware of the basic checklist of things they’ll want for college applications this fall: transcript, essay, test scores, activity list, and supplemental question responses. But there’s one document that is mostly out of your control—a letter of recommendation. You’ll probably need one (or two, or three), and right now is the best time to think about who to ask for recommendations, how to ask them, and when to ask them. Here is a an updated rundown on rec letters and how to get the best ones you can.

Understand what you’re asking for. Have you ever seen a letter of recommendation? Have you ever written one? Do you really understand what you’re asking for? Take some time to get familiar with the type of letter you’re asking for. Look at these examples with comments. You’ll have a better idea of who to ask, when to ask, and how to ask if you have a better appreciation for what all goes into a good recommendation.

Write one for yourself. Seriously. Put yourself into the mind of the teacher you want a letter from, and try to write your very best letter about you as if you were that teacher. Think about what qualities that teacher would say stand out, and think of narratives and examples that teacher could give about you. Do not try to send it as if they wrote it! That’s not what this is for. Nobody will see the letter you write, but it’s a great exercise. Self knowledge is the best knowledge, and few things help you know yourself like having to explain yourself.

Make sure you ask someone who can help you. Like the essays and interviews, recommendation letters are one of your opportunities to show colleges that you’re an interesting person, not just a transcript. So make sure you ask for recommendation letters from teachers who know you as a person. Some schools specify which teachers they want letters from, and there’s nothing you can do about that. But when you have control, get teachers who will say great things about you. If a teacher is likely to just repeat what’s already in your transcript, then you’ve lost a big opportunity. If a teacher is writing letters for a lot of other students, then that teacher may not be able to write a unique and personal letter for you. A teacher who had you for a class and also sponsored an activity you were involved with is ideal. A teacher you’ve had good rapport with and who knows you as a person is going to be better for you than a teacher who doesn’t know you as well but gave you higher grades.

Understand that it’s a personal favor. Teachers are not required to write recommendation letters, and they’re certainly not required to write good ones, so treat it as a favor. When I was a teacher, I liked it when students set up an appointment with me to come and talk to me about rec letters. I preferred to know why they were coming so I could prepare questions or suggestions. I loved it when a student sent me an email asking to come by later and ask for a rec letter. However, I also worked with teachers who didn’t care for this approach. They feel like it makes them have the same conversation multiple times. So there’s no one best approach.

But whatever you do, ask for the letter politely and with lots of time to spare. Don’t rush the teacher or treat it like a foregone conclusion that they’ll write you one. And never corner a teacher while they’re trying to get someplace else.

Give them some direction. Hopefully you’ve given a lot of thought to what personal traits you want to discuss in your application essays. Let the teachers who you’re asking for recommendations know what those traits are. If there’s a particular story or example you’re hoping they’ll write about, let them know. Teachers may or may not follow up on that, but it can’t hurt to ask. Which do you think will get a better rec letter?

·      “Mr. Holloway, can you write me a letter of recommendation?”

Or

·      “Mr. Holloway, I’m putting together my college applications, and I’m really trying to emphasize my creative problem solving. Would it be possible for you to write me a letter of recommendation? I was remembering the time in class when the computer crashed in the middle of my Power Point presentation and I still found a way to get the information across without it.”

Unless the teacher asks for it, I don’t think you should give them a copy of your transcript, résumé, or “brag sheet.” It makes it too easy for the teacher to write about what’s already in your application. Instead, offer to send the teacher any information or reminders they need. Even better, offer to show the the letter you wrote for yourself. It’s a common practice in business to have people write their own recommendations to be edited and sent off. Show the person you’re asking a letter from how confident you are and what you need by offering your letter. However, don’t offer to write the first draft yourself unless you already have it written.

Convey the actual deadline for the letter. If you’re applying for Early Action, Early Decision, or any other November 1 deadline, let them know. If it’s a Regular Decision application due in early January, let them know. If it’s rolling admissions, and the sooner you get all the materials in the sooner you get a decision, let them know. If it’s a Regular Decision application due in early January, but you want to have all your applications out early for your peace of mind, that’s fine. But the teacher’s deadline is still early January. Don’t try to push them into arbitrary or confusing deadlines that aren’t realistic.

If they say no, don’t be pushy. This should go without saying. There are a number of reasons a teacher might say no when you ask for a recommendation. Don’t assume you know what the reason is, and don’t be pushy. Someone who can’t or doesn’t want to write a letter isn’t going to write a good one. If the teacher who says no is one who a college requires a letter from, let that teacher know and see if there’s something you can work out. But do this as a follow-up, not in the same conversation where the teacher initially says no.

Say thank you. A recommendation letter is a personal favor, so make sure you thank the teacher profusely. Thank the teacher when they agree to write the letter. Say thank you again—in writing—when the teacher sends the letter. When you get accepted to any school that the teacher recommended you for, say thank you again. A thank-you gift is not required, but is a nice gesture. But don’t give one until after the letter has been sent—you don’t want it to look like a bribe. 

How many rec letters will you need? And from who? This is tough to answer, because each college has its own requirements. As you’re looking at colleges you may want to apply to, look through their admission requirements to get a sense of what you need. Some colleges don’t require any recommendations. It’s very common for a college to want one from your school counselor and one from a teacher. Some require two teacher recommendations, and some specify that one be from a STEM teacher and one from a Humanities teacher. Most will take letters from community members other than teachers and counselors.

I think it’s best to plan on getting recommendations from your counselor and two teachers until you know for sure you don’t need that many. You should obviously send all the recommendations a school requires. But I don’t think you should send more than a single extra recommendation, even if they allow for more. Sending too many recommendations quickly becomes a problem: it makes you seem more annoying and desperate than accomplished and interesting. Also avoid having someone impressive send a recommendation if they don’t actually know you. A bland, generic letter from a business executive, elected official, or famous person doesn’t actually help you.

When should you ask for rec letters? This is also tough to answer, because each teacher has their own preferences. There are teachers who, if approached in the spring of 11th grade, will tell you it’s way too early to deal with that. There are teachers who, if approached in the fall of 12th grade, will tell you it’s too late and they can’t take on any more. Some teachers would love to discuss it during the summer when the pace is slower, but some will absolutely resent you for bothering them in the summer. So all that I can advise is to bring it up before the end of this school year, but bring it up casually. Ask your teachers what they prefer, and then follow up when appropriate.

What do you do if a college asks for something you can’t provide? There are times when a college may ask for a recommendation that you’re simply unable to provide. Example: your school counselor left the school and hasn’t been replaced. Whenever there’s any kind of problem or question, reach out to your admission representative at the college. Most colleges still divide their admission staff by geography, and most will let you look up who the admission counselor for your region is. If you can find that on their admission web page, perfect. If not, find any contact info you can for the admissions office and reach out with your question. The sooner you do this, the better. Don’t wait until right before the deadline to let them know you may not be able to get exactly what they’re asking for. Consider mid-September to be your deadline for this (unless, of course, you decide to apply to a school after that).

I’m sure there are many exceptions to my normal advice for rec letters, but here are two big ones. If you’re applying to a US service academy, then you will be required to get a recommendation from your member of Congress. Representatives typically have a form on their website with instructions. If you’re applying to any of these, ignore what I said about getting recommendations from impressive people you don’t necessarily know. Also, home schooled students will often have a completely different set of requirements, since recommendations can be awkward if your teachers and counselors are also your parents. Most colleges have a separate checklist easy to find on their admission web pages.

 Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Do you need a “brag sheet”?

   On swastikas and rec letters

   Be kind to your counselor

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

How do you write a great application essay?

If this is the summer between your junior and senior years of high school, then now is probably the best time for you to work on your application essays. I understand that you’re not sitting around doing nothing this summer, but with school out you probably have more unstructured time to work on the essays than if you wait until fall. Some of the most miserable high school seniors I’ve ever worked with were students trying to write application essays days before the deadline. You should have a solid draft ready to go by September 15th at the latest. If you need to keep revising and editing, that’s fine. But get yourself to “only an hour left to finish it” as soon as possible.

Most the students I work with end up writing two “big” application essays. They’ll write one for the Common Application, and they’ll write one for their state public university application. There are certainly some public colleges that accept the Common App, but many—especially the larger systems—have their own application. And yes, you can use the same essay for both; prompt #7 on the Common App allows you to share an essay on any prompt, even if it’s an essay you’ve already written. But from my experience, once you factor in the long Common App essay, smaller supplemental prompts, public university application prompts, and prompts for honors programs or scholarships, most write two longer essays and have a stable of smaller responses that get shifted and re-used for various other tasks.

Let’s step back and ask why colleges ask for an essay in the first place. Back when I first left the classroom and started writing and advising about college admissions, I talked with a friend who is also an admission dean. I asked for the inside scoop on essays. What, exactly, do you do with them? Do you run them through programs to determine Lexile levels and readability scores? Do you match them against databases to find cliches and plagiarism? She politely told me I was making things way too complicated. “We read them, that’s what we do with them,” she told me. That’s it.

Admission officers are looking for a few things when they read your essays. They want to make sure that you’re prepared to do college-level writing. That doesn’t mean that you already have to write like a college senior; you’ll probably take a writing course early in your college years. But it means that if you don’t show that you’ve at least mastered high school-level writing and aren’t ready to begin college writing, then that’s a problem for them.

The other thing they’re reading for is to get to know who you are as a person. Transcripts and test scores are pretty impersonal. It’s the recommendation letters and essays that show who you are and who you might become. College is not just an honor society for high school students. Universities don’t exist just to recognize your hard work in high school. They are places where people develop and work together, so colleges want to see who you are as a person, not just your recent accomplishments.

Ok. With that big picture always in mind, how do you actually go about putting together an application essay?

The first thing to know is that you’re playing offense, not defense. Too many students look at the prompts, try to think of a response, and then write something. They take a defensive stance, wondering how they should respond in order to seem worthy to the universities. Instead of thinking of yourself as a passive commodity for the schools to peruse, think of yourself as an interesting person and decide what you want the schools to know about you. The essay is your primary way to show the schools that you’re a person, so make sure you show them what a great person you are.

Don’t start by looking at the prompts! I had a really great literature professor in college who talked to us about the essay questions on her final exam. She said that, ideally, the final exam would simply say “Explain.” Then we’d have two hours to explain what we’d discovered and learned over the semester, and she could assess us from that. However, lots of students would be confused or anxious about such an open-ended test, so she posed several essay questions, each ending with “Explain.”

College admissions essays are similar. What they really want to ask is “So, tell us about yourself.” But that would be too weird for too many applicants, so they ask more specific questions to get you to tell them about yourself.

So instead of beginning with the prompts and taking a defensive stance, begin with yourself. Think about several things:

• What makes you an interesting person?

• What skills and traits do you have that will make you successful at college?

• Other than your grades, what do people praise you for?

• How do you fit into your communities, and what kinds of communities do you want to belong to?

• What are you hoping to get out of college?

• What are you hoping to provide to your college?

• What separates you from your friends at school?

• What gets you intellectually excited? What do you do when you’re excited?

• What’s happened to you in the past three years that has most changed who you are?

• How do you hope to change over the next three years?    

• You’ve matured in the past three years—what evidence or stories have you got to show it?

• What’s the most recent un-assigned book you loved?

• If you could design the perfect college course for yourself, what would it be?

• If you wanted to impress a stranger in under a minute, what would you tell them about yourself?

Spend some serious time thinking about these and similar questions, and think about what kind of a presentation you’d make to an admissions committee about yourself. Once you have that in mind, then go and look at the prompts. Think about which prompts can best highlight the qualities you want to talk about, and then go from there.

Nobody likes a show-off. This is tough to remember when you’re being asked to talk about your accomplishments, but it’s still true. When you’re writing your essays and speaking to people, you want to make it clear that your accomplishments are not traits in themselves, but evidence of your important personal traits.

So it’s not just that you were captain of the basketball team, but that the challenges of being captain of the basketball team taught you a lot about motivating others and yourself. It’s not that you had the highest grade in your math class, but that the rewards of good grades highlight your resilience and ability to meet self-imposed goals. It’s not that it felt great to win the debate trophy, but that your ability to cooperate and collaborate with a partner made you successful at the debate tournament. It’s not that your band went to Regionals, but...you get the idea.

Balance style and content. I often had students ask me which is more important on admissions essays: the writing itself or what the writing talks about. The answer is both. A poorly written essay about something really cool is neither better nor worse than a really polished piece of meaningless fluff. Work on both. A lot.

Most college admissions essay sound alike. This makes sense. There’s a limited range of possibilities—most of the applicants are about the same age, come from the same national cultural background, and are high school seniors. There’s only so much variety you can have. So don’t worry about writing something that’s going to be completely different—worry about making yours stand out in small ways. In a 650-word essay, a single sentence can make a huge difference. So pay attention to each sentence.

Consider the past, present, and future. Whatever personal quality you’re talking about, make sure to include—even in small ways—how you developed this trait in the past, how you’re displaying that trait now at the end of high school, and how you think that trait will be useful in college.

Some things NOT to do:

1. Rehashing what’s already in your transcript. If you only say things in your essay that the admissions committee can already see on your transcript or test scores, you’re missing a big opportunity.

2. The Mission Trip essay. Maybe you went on a mission trip or some other service project, and you learned a lot about people in different circumstances than yourself. Maybe you felt that they affected you more than you affected them. That’s wonderful, but please understand that the admissions counselors have seen this essay a gazillion times and it’s going to be extremely hard to make yours stand out. If you write this essay, make sure you work hard on highlighting your own personal traits and not just the epiphany you had. I’ve also seen many weird essays where the student basically argues that the way of life of those being helped is superior to the writer’s way of life. These essays have sentences along the lines of “they may be poor, but they take care of each other and have true happiness.” This is a great idea if you’re applying to go and live among the people you helped in your service project, but not so much if you’re applying to a expensive college.

3. Unbalanced before & after. Many essays use a “before and after” structure as a way to talk about personal growth or overcoming setbacks. I used to be unmotivated, but now I’m motivated. I used to be a bad student, but now I’m a good student. I used to be selfish, but now I’m involved in helping others. Things like that. If you write this kind of essay, make sure you spend most of your time and words on the positive, not the negative. I’ve seen too many essays that spend about 90% of their words on describing the negative in great detail, and then give a vague “but I got better.” Spend no more than 20% on the negative Before, and most of the essay on the positive After.

4. On any type of essay that is going to multiple schools (like the Common Application), you should not name any individual school or place. If you send an essay to individual schools that includes a school name, make sure you have the right name. Many students send the same writing to multiple schools and simply replace one school name for another. If you do this, make sure you replace them ALL.

5. There’s a common misperception that your essay needs to be some kind of “sob story” that gets tons of sympathy from the readers. That’s not true. This year the Common App even added a prompt about gratitude and positive stories. If what you want to write about involves major challenges or even trauma, that’s not a problem. Work on that essay. But never try to amplify or exaggerate a minor challenge to make it sound traumatic just because you think it will make you look better to an admissions officer. It will actually have the opposite effect.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Check out these related Apply with Sanity posts:

   Writing about your unique circumstances

   Yes, you can write about that

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.